Source: CARE International

The following are excepts from Susan's journal from the May 2006 trip to Afghanistan.

Good morning from Kabul...

Hi everyone! We're in Kabul at our guesthouse. The trip over was wonderfully uneventful. The plane ride from Dubai to Kabul was a relatively large plane packed with Afghan men, mostly wearing white outfits with head coverings. When I got up to go to the bathroom I felt surrounded by a sea of men. They all seem to have nice smiles for me though. I've heard that most Afghans love Bush and the United States. They are appreciative we removed the Taliban and I think welcome the aid workers.

I haven't had much sleep in the past two days but am running on pure adrenaline. The guesthouse is actually really nice. Our rooms look out onto a beautiful green garden. There are beautiful roses too. I am struck with how peaceful it is here. The ride from the airport to the guesthouse was interesting. There is obviously so much reconstruction that needs to take place but there are some modern buildings and the roads were not as bad as I had anticipated. We were approached by no less than 4 people who wanted money or had something to sell (while we were in the car they would run up along side) -- of course I bought a newspaper....

So, The weather is very warm. We don't have to wear our head scarf in the guesthouse, which is great because it's cumbersome and adds to the heat. Imagine wearing a burka!

My travel companions are great. Patti and I seem to be on the same wavelength about being here, about the filming, etc. We actually haven't let Beth film anything yet because we want to get acclimated before she starts pulling out cameras.

Monte Allen who runs the CARE program in Boston is also with us. This is his first time in this part of the world also. Rick Perera a CARE PR guy met us in Dubai and will be with us for a few days as well. Sean, Beth's camera guy is great. It's nice to be with other people. To see an expression on someone's face, the questions that they ask that I may not have thought of all make it that much more fun. I think I'm babbling...

The bottom line is I am so glad that we decided to take this trip. Sometimes I feel like a fraud when I speak about Beyond the 11th and the work we're doing, because all of my information is second hand. We've talked about how being widows ourselves has made us empathetic toward Afghan widows, but the truth is, of course our lives are nothing alike, and it's nearly impossible to imagine how Afghan widows live. I'm excited to be able to experience the country and the people firsthand. I have a feeling it will help us determine the ranges of needs they face.

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Greetings from Kabul...

We arrived yesterday and had a very full day. It feels as though we've been here a week already. We had an opportunity to meet with about 10 CARE staff employees, including Paul Barker the country director. He's actually leaving Afghanistan this summer and is transferring to Sudan - clearly he's not afraid of a challenge. Having an opportunity to hear about different
aspects of the work CARE is doing here in Afghanistan was fascinating. Let's just say I am so happy that we've been supporting the work CARE does.

From there, we were rushed over to the CNN office if you could call it an office. It was basically a house with a satellite on the roof. Speaking of the roof, they said, "Ok it's time to go up and set up for the interview." So Patti and I start walking in the house up the stairs only to be told we actually had to go around the side up a ladder and then up another ladder up onto the roof. I know you're thinking "wow, that doesn't sound low key,"
but we were assured and reassured that we were in a very safe neighborhood and that there had never been any security problems. That said, it was so exciting. I'm not sure how the interview went. It was hard to hear whoever the heck was interviewing us from I don't even know where - Atlanta maybe?
The wind starting blowing and my mike was all over the place. I think although I'm really not sure that they might try to air it on Mother's Day on a morning show...

From CNN we came back to the guesthouse to rest for about an hour or so before heading off to Paul Barker's house for dinner. Again, it was nice to have his undivided attention to hear his stories about life in Afghanistan and about his experiences living around the world.

I slept like a baby - literally. That is, I slept for about 3 solid hours and then was up pretty much every hour on the hour. I still feel very refreshed after finally taking a shower -- have I mentioned it's dusty and hot?

Anyway, we have a very full day today. We're planning to visit a poultry training center, a literacy class and then to have some home visits with some of the women. For me, today is what it's all about.

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More from Kabul...

So yesterday was a huge day for us. We went to another poultry training center and spoke with a group of widows. When we walked in they had big smiles and open faces for us but then some of the men we are traveling with walked in and they quickly covered their face with their burkas. Some became more relaxed after a few minutes so that we could see their faces again but many stayed covered up. I asked them if they choose to wear the burka or if they feel they must. In general the response seemed to be that it is their tradition so yes they choose to wear it. I would have liked to follow up that their "tradition" was to not allow women to work or go to school - obviously that was under the Taliban but even now it is sometimes frowned upon. At what point does tradition have to be replaced with modern thinking? I think that one of the things that has struck me most about being here is that the poverty is not necessarily the biggest obstacle. The political climate makes the regular job of helping the people that much more difficult. For example, there are tons of bicycles in Kabul - but only the
men and boys are riding them. The women have to walk very long distances to get places. The poultry training center, for example, is a long way from many of their homes. If they were able to ride a bike there though it would cut the time in half or more. I asked if they would ride a bike if they were given one and only one (very brave woman) said yes. Everyone else
laughed and said no. Why not? They said because people would laugh at them. Only laugh I asked? I was afraid the men would get angry and would be violent or something but they said no people would laugh. So I think we should get about 25 women bikes all in one small area and on the same day they can all start riding bikes. That way, together they will feel like all
the laughing is not just for them and then maybe the stigma could go away. Wouldn't it be great if it were that easy???? In discussing this, Rick from CARE said it would be like asking me to ride down the street on a horse naked. I guess even if all my neighbors were doing it I'd rather walk covered up... Anyway, the bottom line is that there are so many "traditions" or whatever you want to call it that making advances in women's
rights, fighting poverty, educating women, etc. all become that much more difficult because even the women don't feel they deserve too much.

I just realized that all of what I just described happened today. Let me back up to yesterday...

We did have time at a poultry center yesterday where we met some amazing women. We were able to go back to two of their homes with them to have more intimate discussions. The first home was of a woman whose husband was killed as a result of the US bombing after 9/11. Not only was her husband killed but a bomb also hit her oldest daughter and she still has shrapnel lodged in her chest and in her face. Her face is totally deformed and she is also blind as a result. Her mother said that even if
they had the money to help her, there are no facilities here in Afghanistan to deal with it. It was heart wrenching. One of her other daughters was they cutest thing ever. At one point, I asked if she understood English because she seemed to follow our conversation before anything was translated. I think she was just so keyed into us that she could almost tell from our expressions what we were saying.

I wish I could give every young girl in this country the gift of education. They all want it so desperately and they get it for the most part where and when they can but it does not seem like enough or consistent enough. It was hard for me to sit with this woman knowing that as a result of 9/11, the US bombed Kabul and her husband and daughter were killed and hurt. We asked what she thought of America and her response for some reason surprised me. She said that the oppression under the Taliban was so extreme that they were thankful that the US and the international community got rid of them. She did not sound angry at the US. I don't think it was because she was talking to us either. She said that during war there are casualties and that they were among them. This is not to say there were not tears and that everything is a-ok. I guess it's the same kind of reaction people might get when I tell them about Beyond the 11th. They ask, "Why help the people in a
country that harbored the terrorists and trained them?" People often seem puzzled, but to me it seems so clear and I think that was what this young woman was saying to me.

The next visit was the woman with whom I think both Patti and I had the deepest connection. We met with a widow and her children along with her sister-in-law, who is also a widow, and their mother-in-law. Basically the mother-in-law had 7 boys. One died of illness and the other 6 were killed during war. They brought her into the room and basically had to carry her. She was sick with grief - both physically and mentally. I know that when I look into my mother-in-law's eyes there is something that will never be the same for her again - a part of her was taken away and it makes me cry to even write this now. This poor woman here in Kabul had to endure that 7 times and lives in a one room house with no electricity, no running water,
not a stitch of furniture and basically no hope.

The younger widows, the ones we had met at the training center, were such strong women. Patti asked if they wanted to get remarried and we were both thrown by their answer. We expected them to say who would want to marry a woman with 5 children... But both of them said "no" simultaneously and the
reason is that they didn't want to lose control of making the decisions for themselves and mostly for their children. It was a real moment for me. Getting married would be a much easier life on some level in that they would no longer be the sole breadwinner for the family, but the need for independence so outweighs that - it really was quite powerful.

I'm so glad that Beth is documenting this trip on film because as I read back what I'm typing I'm realizing that I've said so little. It's hard to express all the emotions, all the scenery, all the personalities, all the poverty, all the hope and all the sadness - it's too much to put into an email.

In a few minutes, we're going to Tarsian and Blinkley, the design company created and run by Sarah Takesh. As you may recall, Essentia in Wellesley had a trunk show with her clothing that benefited Beyond the 11th. Anyway, Sarah designs the clothes and then hires Afghan women (some of them in programs we support) to sew the clothes. She then sells the clothes both
here in Kabul and also in the US. Oh yeah - she also designed the kite pins that we've sold. I'll be sure to take pictures so that you can see where they are made.

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My last full day in Kabul...

I'm not sure where to begin. I should go back and reread the last email because I can't remember what I've told you already, but that seems like too much effort at the moment. We just walked in from a long day and will head out again for dinner shortly. Beth and Sean had wanted to do some wrap up
interviews but there was a sand storm. It actually looks like it might rain, which is incredible because this is the driest, dustiest place I've ever been (Afghanistan has suffered from extreme drought over the past five years). As Beth pointed out, when she blows her nose it looks like chocolate cake comes out. So if it were to actually rain while we are here I think it would be really cool. All the houses are made from mud bricks so it's hard to believe that they don't all melt when the rain comes but apparently they don't.

Anyway... we woke up bright and early this morning and had an opportunity to meet with one of the women from parliament. We were actually allowed into the building without passports (long story why we didn't have them on us). It was not something I had expected to be able to do on this trip so meeting one of the most powerful women here was intense. She told us about how she taught out of her home during the Taliban, she started a newspaper called Women Mirror to help women better understand their rights, and even though it sounds like she came from a relatively wealthy family, they never fled. She has three small children and she told us that her husband supports what she does. This was really interesting though... she had an arranged marriage but it sounds like they were good friends first. She described how he supports her etc. but then 2 years ago (after she was already in parliament) he took a second wife. To me it's such a slap in the face. Here she's trying to get people to look at the value of women as the same as men and here her husband turns around and takes another wife. We couldn't react too much but she said that was very painful for her.

From there we went to meet some of the women from the Women for Women program. Just to remind you, two years ago we gave a grant to support 100 women in an income-generating program. They learn bakery skills, embroidery, shoe making, etc. They also have access to human rights awareness classes, literacy classes etc. This past grant we just gave was for the same 100 women for business training. So basically, they have their skill and now they learn how and where to sell their merchandise, how to set up a shop or to take advantage of the micro-financing program. Literally one woman said she learned that it was all about "location location location." I guess she'll pass the class with flying colors. When we walked into the business training class, there were about 15 women all sitting around the edge of the room. I could immediately tell that although they were poor and are in much need of assistance, they were in no way as poor and as desperate as the women from the CARE program. The class at WWI was a mix of people from all of their programs and not specifically the 100 widows we were supporting. All of the CARE women we met are widows so I think that it's an obvious conclusion that being poor is difficult but being poor and a widow is even more so. We had a great conversation with them and then shared lunch.

At one point we took a bunch of pictures and then they asked us if we would send pictures of our homes. I totally broke down. Thinking about sending them a picture of our enormous house with a car in front, green grass, flowers, color, all of it... the guilt was overwhelming. I was embarrassed thinking of how much we have and take for granted. I know it won't last because that's the American way, but I hope that I can try to keep it all in perspective. We've been to about eight homes at this point and all are one room, none have running water and one had electricity that comes on at night.

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